Solo A Me (Lonely Me)

Loneliness and sadness is something that we generate inside of ourselves. We can be in the middle of a crowd and yet still be lonely. It is not a matter of being alone, it is about being disconnected or “cut off” from others. It can be very painful and is quite common. Often we feel this way because of our own low self esteem. For example, we think to ourselves, “I don’t have lots of friends because I’m not really worthy of them.” or ” I’m not interesting enough to be noticed or be attractive.” Sometimes we feel disconnected or left out because we don’t know how to approach others socially — we might fear being rejected, so we don’t attempt to make friends or develop relationships. We often compensate for this feeling by working long hours or other constant type of activity so we can avoid the painful feelings loneliness can bring. Or, we unintentionally sabotage our relationships by exhibiting overly possessive, clinging, dependant behavior. Some even attempt to anesthetize themselves with food, alcohol, or other drugs.

To overcome these feelings we have to change our internal pessimestic or negative thoughts. We must realize we HAVE had friends before, we HAVE been in a good relationship with others, we DO look acceptable…. It is a good time to do more of what we want to do and when we want to do it. It helps to get involved in activities that are interesting to us and that will put us in a position to meet, work, and socialize with others. We can even volunteer or work for a cause we believe in. We can try a new recreational or physical activity. It also helps to work on our listening and communication skills by asking others about themselves or seeking their opinions, and then listening attentively and actively. Also, we can present a positive self-image by greeting others with a friendly smile, a strong handshake, and direct eye contact in an assertive manner. In other words, we can let others know from our body language that we welcome their communication with us. Strive to work out of your “solo a me” (Italian: lonely me) and into connecting with others.